Stop talking about Generations! (part 2) 10 ways to make generations in the workplace irrelevant

In my post from last week, I got a little crabby about all of the talk about generations. I won’t deny that the issue of multiple generations in the workplace is causing challenges (and opportunities). I certainly won’t disagree that we need to pay attention to the distinct needs of each generation and that failing to do this well has grave implications.

What I am saying is, that instead of trying to make your business, your educational institution, your health care facility or your church relevant you should seek to make the generational divide irrelevant. Stop building a “millennial friendly” marketing campaign and start meeting the needs of your customers. Stop trying to add a hipster vibe to your enterprise and start over delivering and over serving those you are entrusted to serve.

Here is a list of 10 ways to make the generation mix irrelevant.

Anticipate needs

Hockey great Wayne Gretzky said his key to his success was to “Skate to where the puck will be, not where it is.” The same is true here. Anticipate what your employees will want from their employment experience. Ask them today what they are looking for tomorrow. Ask young workers and not so young workers. Ask those coming into your workplace and those leaving. Ask those you want but don’t want you and then keep listening and keep asking.

Recruit your current employees

Let’s think of recruitment like dating or courtship. You put your best foot forward when dating. You have fun, share experiences, and get to know one another. Then the wedding bells ring and the real work begins. It’s the same at work, recruitment is exciting and the real work Focus on actively recruiting your current workforce by showing you value them, appreciate them and you care about them. People all want to be known and needed. Look at each individual on your org chart and ask yourself, “Does this person feel known and needed?”

Help everyone achieve their goals

If you have an employee that dreams of owning their own business or getting into management do what you can to help them achieve their dreams. If they want to learn skills and build a portfolio of results to get their job, help them do that. Yes, you may lose them as they pursue their dream, but along the way, you have a great protégé that is going to be eager to learn and perform.

Get over yourself – put your employees first.

Don’t ever take your employees for granted and expect they love working for you or your company as much as you do. Having a customer centric organization is good but having an employee first culture is transformational. One is the effect and the other a cause. If you have an employee first (cause) organization you will in turn have a great customer centric (effect) culture. Look at your decisions, policies and overall practices and ask “Is this best for the employees?”

Get comfortable with Quid Pro Quo

Loyalty today is defined as what can you do for me? This is ok and it is reality. We think of quid pro quo as a bad thing when really it isn’t. Everything is a tradeoff. You are asking for more time and energy from your employees so it is fair that they should get something in return. You are giving them a good job, decent pay and opportunities to build skills, it should be ok that you expect something in return for them. The best part of this quid pro quo mindset is that it goes both ways. It should be a contest to see who is getting the better end of the deal, you or your employees.

Fire people – regularly

This sounds harsh, but it isn’t. Most organizations with more than 30 employees have someone that probably shouldn’t be there. It isn’t that they are bad people necessarily but they have actively disengaged and are doing more harm than good. This could have been a hiring mistake, a training mistake or just a natural cycle of life. If you have let them know their performance isn’t up to par, you’ve given them tools and training to succeed, you have put them in roles that focus on their strengths and they still aren’t performing, it’s time to cut them loose. Don’t hold people hostage that don’t want to be a contributor to your organization. Do them and the rest of your employees a favor.

I realize that it’s not this easy for some organizations or in different countries but the fact remains, actively disengaged employees do more harm than good. Do something about it. You owe it to everyone else.

Stop the programs

Generally speaking, there is nothing wrong with wellness initiatives, company picnics, bowling parties and lunch-n-learns. However, when these are management or HR initiatives and not driven and brought about by the employees, they are not valued as much. Find people with passions and desires to do something and put resources and support behind them. Employee run initiatives trump management programs every time.

Embrace and celebrate differences

“The same level of thinking that got you into this problem won’t get you out of it.” Albert Einstein

Different thinking and different approaches are critical to a thriving environment. One of the reasons why the generational clash exists is because we allow it. We allow finger pointing, blaming and complaining. Put people of different skills, knowledge and experiences in positions to learn from one another. Create opportunities for idea sharing and make it easy for people to share their perspectives so others can learn from them and value them.

Standards not rules

At the SHRM conference Coach K said he prefers standards over rules. Rules you must obey, standards you seek to uphold. AMEN. Again, rules generally are set by management and enforced by management. Standards typically are set by team members and enforced by them as well. Rules tend to stay static and not change, standards on the other hand may change as often as each new situation demands.

Invest in leaders

The success of your teams, your departments, your locations, divisions and regions isn’t dependent on your company policies or processes. Your differential advantage or strategic initiatives don’t point to your success. The leaders of each of these groups are the answer to your success. Invest in them. As Marcus Buckingham says, “We don’t need leadership, we need leaders.” Find yours and invest heavily in them.

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they allow disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children now are tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

SOCRATES

Yep, I said it. We live in the most offended society to ever grace the planet. Political correctness has overtaken the day and in my (limited) research, I have found about 5 people that are actually in favor of political correctness. Everyone else hates it, yet they regularly participate in it. We are careful what we say so we don’t offend someone. We put up false walls and dangerous barriers so we don’t hurt others and step on their toes. In doing so we are losing the ability to be real, to be authentic, and to be vulnerable.

We can’t go a week without hearing a sound bite or seeing a video of some public figure saying and doing something stupid. We call for their job, demand their apology, and cry for the grievances to be righted. Let me ask you this: could you go one week with every thought, word, and action being taped and be shown blameless at the end of the week? Me neither.

Several years ago a good friend of mine said “One of the kindest things you can do to someone is to be willing to offend them.” The truth is, how much would you have to dislike someone to not share something that may offend them. Likely you are doing this because you care for them. Because you love them. Because you want them to be better. Your intention isn’t bad, it’s quite opposite.

If I have a huge stem of broccoli hanging between my teeth, I want to know that. If I am saying things or doing things that are hurtful or ignorant of others’ feelings, I need to know that. Me not wanting to hear these things doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t share them.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t think we should be hurtful and mean, but we should be willing to say something that could possibly offend the other party because it is the best, most kind thing to do at the time.

I’m also not equating being offended with being sensitive. My family members are sensitive. My friends are sensitive, my clients are sensitive. Heck, even I am sensitive. Being sensitive shows your care and your compassion. Being sensitive is a natural response to what matters to you. Being personally offended shows a lack of personal resilience and strength. Being offended shifts blame and responsibility from you to someone else.

When you are constantly personally offended, you are in essence saying “I give you power over my feelings and I don’t care to take responsibility for my life.” It shows just how willing you are to let others affect how you feel and to determine your level of self-worth.

To be offended is to be baited or trapped into a situation where you are held captive by another and where bitterness and unforgiveness can thrive.

In order to live a life less offended here are a few suggestions:

Start putting others first. By focusing on others first, you’ll have less energy to be consumed with how others are letting you down.
Start being grateful and thankful. If you look for things to be grateful for, you will find them. Change your outlook and you will have less to be offended about.
Start believing the best in others. Give them the benefit of the doubt and assume their intentions are good.
Stop controlling others. Focus on controlling yourself and giving others more freedom, which will lead to healthier relationships.
Stop holding grudges. You can still be frustrated, sensitive, and even angry but you can’t continue to hold these emotions over time. Experience the pain but don’t hold on to it.

Lead well, lead often, LEAD STRONG!

Where have all of the responsible people gone? We are living in a society where blame and finger pointing have overtaken ownership and accountability. Not a day goes by where we don’t see evidence of someone blaming someone else for the problems in their life. Personal ownership is an old fashioned value and one that doesn’t seem to be encouraged or embraced.

Parents blame their kids teachers because they are not learning manners or getting the grades they expect. Sales people blame market conditions or busy decision maker’s schedules for not making a sale. Citizens blame too much taxation or not enough for why our economy isn’t flourishing like we think it should.

Blame is the game, and everyone seems to be playing it.

I didn’t grow up in this environment. My mom was a tough-love mom, and she challenged me to be my best and to own my life. My dad encouraged me to pursue my passion and to be the best me that I could be. They weren’t perfect, but they instilled a sense of responsibility and ownership. “It’s not my fault” was not an acceptable phrase nor one that we were often tempted to utter in our home.

Today, as I look at the news and watch the landscape of society, it seems this little idea of being personally responsible for your life has little value. People seem to be looking for ways to express frustration and hurt and are rarely encouraged to be the best me that they can be.

I mentioned in the post “Stop being so Damned Offended” (link to post) we are living in the most offended society ever. I began to wonder why this is. Why is it so easy and so accepted to be offended? The following certainly isn’t a complete list but I do think it speaks to where offense lives and where it grows. Consider these areas and determine if you are affected by any of them.

You don’t know how to disagree with someone, and also respect them

A simple disagreement today has become equivalent to hate. In an effort to show value to others and live a life that is tolerant of others we have lost the art of simply disagreeing.

You care more about yourself than others. Your focus is always on how things affect you

If your life is all about me how can it ever be about we? This self-centeredness only sets you up for disappointment. In the words of Zig Ziglar…

“You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want”

You believe in free speech (for you but not for others)

This goes in hand with #1 and is usually masked by passion and position. Too many people fight for their right to be heard and to speak up and out, but they don’t value it in others. Leaders shut down their team members when they are challenged. Team members lose the respect of their teammates when they steal the air in meetings and don’t allow room for others to contribute.

You have unspoken expectations

If my expectation is that you stand up for me in a meeting and fight for funding for our project and you don’t, it is easy to be offended. Have you ever had an expectation of a friend, family member, or spouse that was very clear to you but not to them? Unless you share your expectations, you should forfeit your right to be offended.

You beat yourself up long before anyone else gets a chance to

Self-doubt, fear, and lack of confidence will all do a good job of beating you up. After you have beaten yourself up for whatever reason, it won’t take much for someone else to come along with a comment, suggestion, or expressed frustration to bring some offense to you.

You live in a constant state of pain, frustration, or anger

This leaves your nerves exposed so when someone slightly bumps into you, this hurts more than it should. As someone living out of sorts, you don’t regularly experience your best so therefore you are more offended by little issues and challenges because you are starting at a bad place to begin with.

In order to live a life of high accountability and personal responsibility you must seek peace and unity in your relationships. Both your personal and professional ones. Care and concern for others can’t thrive in a narcissistic society. When I can place blame and avoid responsibility why would I ever be motivated to change?

The best way to make sure the blame game stops is to stop playing it. It’s no fun to play a game when no one else is interested.

Lead well, lead often & LEAD STRONG.

Nobody comes to the discussion on trust empty handed. We all have strong feelings about it. We know how it feels when trust is misused, betrayed, or withheld. Our perspectives are real and have been informed by a lifetime of experiences, pain and broken relationships. Sometimes these conclusions are helpful and sometimes they hold us hostage.

Over the years I’ve come to a surprising conclusion: our most popular theories about trust are often untrue and almost always unhelpful.

What I’m going to share will likely go against everything you’ve ever heard or thought about trust. Of all the flawed theories flying around about trust, there is one that is more prevalent and also more damaging than any other:

Trust’s Big Lie: Trust is something that is earned.

The Truth on Trust: Trust can’t be earned. It can only be given.

I know, I know. This is a lie that even I have believed for most of my life. The problem with it is that it just doesn’t make sense.

When we’re deciding how much to trust someone, we usually ask ourselves whether they have earned our trust. That seems like the smart thing to do. Until they earn it, we withhold trust to protect ourselves. We put protective policies in place. We micromanage to maintain control and create limits and boundaries to our relationships.

But the truth is, trust can never be earned. Trust can only be given.

Trust is the responsibility of the person who wants high trust. If you want others to trust you – it’s your responsibility. If you want to be able to trust others – it’s your responsibility. If you are committed to giving and building trust, and determined to overcome any obstacles that stand in your way, you will win high trust. If you work patiently and with perseverance to lead your team towards a high-trust, high-performance culture, you can see it happen. Ten of the most powerful two-letter words in the English language are: If it is to be, it is up to me. If you are to have high trust in your relationships, it starts and ends with you.

I fully realize that this line of thinking might make you squirm. When I’m working with my clients or speaking on this topic, this is where everyone starts to jump out of their seats.

Over the next few posts, I will outline why this lie is damaging, how you can better approach trust and give you a vocabulary for making this thinking stick.

For now, ponder these 5 reasons why trust cannot be earned:

DISCLAIMER: (as requested to provide to readers by my wife)

This line of thinking isn’t for those people in your life that will take great advantage (or who have) of you. This line of thinking isn’t for casual encounters, and it certainly doesn’t mean you post your banking information on the bumper of your car. This line of thinking is for people that you are in personal relationship with, that you care to have high trust with, and where winning the relationship game is key. We will talk about the crazies in another post.

Earning trust requires keeping score. Every time you keep score you create a winner and a loser. In the game of relationships, this only leaves losers.
When you wait for people to earn your trust, you are not sharing your scoring system. Nobody knows how to win and therefore can’t meet your unspoken needs.
It is impossible to be good enough, long enough, and consistent enough to keep in high standings. Everyone falls short and the journey to earn trust has no end in sight.
Earning trust is me-focused and you-focused. The more I focus on me and what I need, want and desire in a relationship, the less room there is for me to give you what you need, want and desire. In essence, making people earn trust is a selfish act.
Relationships and teams are messy. There are challenges and struggles with most all of them. A you-must-earn-trust model does not incentivize you to be a better you, to offer the benefit of the doubt, and to serve those around you.

I realize you may not totally agree, but stay with me awhile. Dig into the principles and ideas around trust with me and let’s create a new way of thinking and more importantly, a new way of doing together.

Lead Well, Lead Often and LEAD STRONG!

It's possible for your organization to be filled with enthusiastic individuals that are ready to work together confidently. Take the first step with Peak Solutions.

Stop talking about Generations! (part 2) 10 ways to make generations in the workplace irrelevant

Continue reading

Don’t be so damned offended – 5 ways to live a life less offended

Blame is the game & everyone is playing

The BIG lie about TRUST – 5 reasons why trust is not earned

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